Submitted by: Lucy O’Brien

One of the problems with dating, which causes a lack of success for many women early on in relationships, is that something happens which leads her to relax her guard. It is generally caused by something he says or does that makes her think that she is “in there” and she is instantly lulled into a false sense of security of being in a relationship. She then adjusts her behaviour accordingly which is generally not good if you want to get that guy. Plenty of women are looking for the quickest way from dating to a relationship but this is not so for many men who feel happier dating. If a woman starts to act as though she is in a relationship when she hardly knows the man and he is not ready for this, the relationship will almost certainly fail.

After the first date or few dates a man may be on a high, having met this great new woman (you!) who seems really into him. She’s stroking his ego and he’s very flattered. He’s enjoying every minute of it… but don’t be fooled that this means that you are “the one”. He’s simply living in the moment, enjoying the ride.

When I was dating and regularly failing, I was the queen of falling into this trap of quickly thinking that I was in a relationship because the man I was seeing seemed really into me early on. In one example a simple text message from a man I had seen a couple of times which said “Are we OK?”, (“we” being the important word which obviously meant that we were now a couple) clicked that relationship switch in my head and in another it was when he looked into my eyes on the first date and said “I’m so glad I met you”. This is just the tip of the iceberg, there are plenty of other such examples in my dating failure diary. So, whatever it is that he says, that makes you think you’ve got him hooked, even if it’s “I love you”, don’t bite. If you want to get that guy, don’t let his sweet talk fool you into thinking he’s in a relationship with you.

If you want to succeed at dating you have to move slowly, and take your time to get to know a man and find out if he is really into you. Don’t let something he does or says ever fool you into having sex early on or feeling like you are in a relationship. One of the worst things that a woman can do during dating is acting as though she is in a relationship with him, when he hardly knows her. This is a huge turn off for a man. Be your own best friend and don’t make this mistake. Always stay a little out of his reach, so that he is chasing you and must make an effort to catch you. If he’s not prepared to do this, he’s not the one for you. It is primarily your attitude about yourself which will determine your dating success and whether you will get that guy.

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Source:

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